A modest proposal for a cultural initiative

I’m looking to change careers, I'm no longer much convinced by the value of my talents in my current job. Recently, my therapist suggested that I seek to combine the things that move me the most and try to find a job that fits the description. So here it is: gastronomic mountainside orgies. Feeding, fucking and feeling the earth beneath you. The location would be well off the beaten track, let’s say, a two hour hike from the nearest road. This would have a number of advantages. Only those who truly love the mountain would come - maybe it’s snobby but the automobile has unquestionably done much to spread bad taste - and they’d all be fucking fit. The mountain retreat would allow us to make as much noise as we wanted, meaning human noise, not some lousy iPodded soundtrack. A weekend spent like this would be a recovery of what it means to be a human animal and would - wonderfully, gorgeously, lovingly - reconnect us with our mother earth. So, it’s a great idea from any number of perspectives. Now I have to get my thinking cap on to apply for the necessary EU funding. They happily hand out money to all sorts of stupid ideas, it’s about time they financed something intelligent.