Replying to you now, Anonymous

To continue our discussion regarding the ’Summer’ story, do you mean the submissive part appeals to you? It seems to me that one of the more beautiful qualities of submission is the way in which the sub waits for their partner’s presence. That an important aspect of submission is not the desire to be abused but something completely different: the desire to listen. We could call this moment of stillness-before-sensation ‘ecstatic patience’.

Tell me, what’s so problematic in an encounter like this? What sort of difficulties have you met? I think one of the things for many people arises from their inability to see that the relationship is not inevitably abusive, that the lovers consent freely to meet on mutually delightful terms. One of the fascinating things about the ’Summer’ story is trying to work out who is in charge; it doesn’t split easily into ‘domination’ and ‘submission’. The slave waits passively for her Master but she is immobile entirely by her own agency, she’s not tied down in any way. Although the Master is the more active of the two, the encounter is not at all about satisfying his desires. The terms of reference are set entirely by the slave: the lovers meet to bring her her pleasure in the way as she seeks it. Paradoxically, the Master is the servant of the slave, although quite to what extent we cannot say: the inner secret of the relationship is that only they can tell, that the inner dynamic of what they share is completely unknowable by the outside world.